ctaylorjr14
Mother’s Day is usually a time for us to reflect on the impact that our mothers have played in our lives. While it’s typically a joyous time for families it can also be a somber time for those whose mothers have passed away.
This is my story.
My mother passed away two weeks before Mother’s Day in 2015. She battled a number of illnesses for over a decade and it was her fight to keep pushing on that served as my inspiration.
I just wanted to take this moment to thank my mother for everything she has meant to me. My mother Elva was the sweetest person I knew. She had a heart for everyone. More than anything she wanted to be a grandmother & was able to see her grandson before she passed away.
If I could talk to her now I would say this:
Momma,
I love you. I appreciate & cherish the time we had on this earth together. The pain of losing you is still with me 4 years later but part of that pain was self-inflicted. The guilt of sometimes taking you for granted stayed with me. The pain of not being able to talk with you now has stayed with me. I wish for anything that you would’ve been able to hold & play with your grandchildren. But I realize that’s not how you wanted me to live my life – filled with regret, guilt & sorrow.
The reason you wanted to be a grandmother was not so much for you, but for me. You wanted me to have a family. You wanted me to enjoy life. I remember you telling me once that you worried about me. You were right. You didn’t want me to be alone. You saw a future for me that had me living & loving life. You saw a future for me as a devoted family man. It’s because of the morals you instilled in me that I’m able to be a devoted husband & father now. I thank you for that. I thank you for helping to bring God into my life. I certainly didn’t fully understand it when I was young – but I do now.
I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you. Instead of thinking of the sorrow of losing you, I’m now reminded of all the special times we shared together. I see you in your grandchildren. I see your heart & love for people in Trey. I see your fighting spirit & fearlessness in Nala. I think she may have already perfected your side eye as well.
On this Mother’s Day I wanted to say thank you Momma for your life, your love, your gift and your spirit. It lives in all of us.
Happy Mother’s Day in heaven. I love you…
Your son,
Charles Jr.
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