This Father’s Day has added meaning to me this year for several reasons. First it’s the first Father’s Day that my father-in-law is not here with my family. I know that this day will be a bit rough for my wife just as Mother’s Day is always a rough day for me. There’s something very deep about the bond between father and daughter just as it is for mother & son. I know he is watching over us so let me say Happy Heavenly Father’s Day dad!
Father’s Day also serves as a time for me to reflect on when my children were born. Nothing truly prepares a man for fatherhood and we as men go through a gamut of emotions. I cried the day my son & daughter were born. I remember crying when my son was born because he was the first born. I cried when my daughter was born because it was a year and a half after my mother’s passing and all she wanted was a granddaughter.
I also remember being legitimately scared at becoming a father. There is no manuscript. No official How To book for parents. All I knew is that I’m responsible for the lives of these little ones. I have to make sure they’re loved at all times. I have to provide for them. I have to make sure I’m there for them. I have to protect them. There’s no scarier thing in the world than not being able to protect your child(ren) and failing them. I wondered to myself if I could be the guy to do this job. Being a father is the greatest challenge that any man will ever face. I know I’m going to make mistakes but I have to lean on the life lessons given to me by my dad as the foundation of how I raise my munchkins. Even more powerful than those life lessons is leaning on God for wisdom and guidance.
Of equal importance to me on Father’s Day is the image of the black father. The myth of the black father is one where we are absent. If you believe what is said then you would be under the belief the black father is a dead beat who leaves his children and shirks responsibility. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Recent data and articles point to the fact that black fathers are indeed involved in the lives of their children. Organizations like Real Men Cook and The Dad Gang help to destroy the stereotype of the black father. It’s imperative that we as black men continue to do the work of being fathers & mentors to our children.
Given the climate of what’s going on in our society on this Father’s Day I want to remember those who aren’t with us. To the fathers and families of Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Sandra Bland, Breyonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery we share in your pain. To the children of Oscar Grant, Eric Garner, Alton Sterling, Stephon Clark, John Crawford, Philando Castille, George Floyd and Rayshard Brooks we will continue to honor your fathers and fight for justice. We will continue to say all of their names until justice is served.
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