“When I come back like Jordan, wearing the 4-5,
it ain’t to play games with you…”
– Jay-Z
Today makes it the 45th time I’ve taken this trip around the sun. I’m not as big on birthdays as I used to be. Maybe I’m more appreciative of life now that I’m a little older. I’m thankful to God to see 45 years of life. I have much to be thankful for: a loving wife and two wonderful children. They are my world. They are my joy & sunshine. I’m thankful for my family. I’m thankful I don’t allow people’s opinion of me to sway me. I’m grateful for the lifetime friendships I have and for those friendships that were only for a season or two.
I’m grateful to be in good health although a scare landed me in the hospital for 3 days in December. That hospital stay gave me time to think. It was really the first time I wrestled with my own mortality. Having lost two friends in 2019 at age 44 gave me pause. It also forced me to start to deal with the inevitable — we all have to face our Judgment Day.
I’ll go ahead and say it: dealing with my own mortality is a scary thing. As a Christian I’m not supposed to have these thoughts because we are taught to believe that our afterlife is much better than this life. While that’s true it doesn’t take away from what’s real. The real is the act of dying is what’s scary and I’m not afraid to admit that. And as I get older I need to make sure that I do everything I can to make sure I leave a legacy for my kids. I want to make sure that dash between my alpha & omega means something. It will only mean something if I make the choice everyday to LIVE.
I’ve seen highs & lows in my life so far. The one thing I’ll say about myself is I never let the highs inflate me and at the same time I don’t let the lows engulf me. I’ve always lived life being even keeled… but sometimes you gotta let those emotions out though. I wish I had that mindset 5 years ago when my mother passed. It could’ve saved me years of internal pain. I also think maybe I had to go through that internal struggle to get to where I am now.
14 of my 45 years on this earth have been with my best friend & wife, Monisha. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime than her. She’s my #1 supporter. She is my heartbeat. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her. Watching her become the woman she is has been a blessing for me to see. I can’t wait to see what she does next.
My little munchkins are my pride & joy. Even though I make countless jokes & post countless memes on being a parent I wouldn’t change anything. Being a dad to Trey & Nala will serve as my greatest challenge & accomplishment. It’s a job I take seriously. It’s also a job I look to with great enthusiasm… even if they do test my patience from time to time.
What else can I say but… it’s been a wild ride so far. I’ve got so much more to do. I don’t look at turning 45 as some halfway point where I riff on what could’ve been. I’m looking at it like this: now is when the fun really starts.
Happy Birthday to me indeed….
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